| Functional Alcoholic
Join Date: May 2006 Location: 14S E:561116 N:3830189
Posts: 4,569
|  West Virginia (Wyoming) Letter from Home
Dearest Redneck Daughter,
I'm a writin' this slow cuz I know you kan't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Yore dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of yore home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address cuz the last family that lived here took the house numbers with them when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not to sure about it though. I put a load of clothes in it and pulled the chain. We aint seen em since.
The weather ain't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.
About that coat you wanted me to send; yore Uncle Billy Bob said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried, and hot, because it took him two hours to get me and yore father out.
Yore sister had a baby this morning, but I ain't found out whether its a boy or girl yet so I don't know if yore an aunt or uncle. The baby looks just like yore oldest borther.
Yore uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated, he burned for three days.
Three of yore friends, Billy Bob Newton, Bubba Hayes and Jim Bob Wilson went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Billy Bob was driving. He rolled down the winder and swum to safety. The other two guys were in the back. They drowned cuz they couldn't get the tailgate down.
There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal has happened.
Your Favorite Aunt, Mom | 
September 18th, 2007
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