Summer of Suckage: Paul's Movie Reviews

[One4yu2c]

I'm sitting here staring at my LCD wondering just how to put into words how disheartened I am with this summer's blockbuster releases. With so many promising flicks hitting the movie theaters, is it really conceivable that Kung Fu Panda will stand out as the sole stalwart of anti-suckage? With two months and many more movies remaining, I sure hope not, but Hollywood's off to a rocky start, and I'm all out of optimism.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Johnson and Johnson can't produce enough Ben-Gay to take the sting out of this one. Here's hoping that the next time Spielberg wants to get together with old friends, he'll leave the movie script and video cameras at home.

The Happening
The only strange 'happening' here is leaving the movie theater feeling robbed for whatever you paid for tickets and concessions, after already getting violated with some of the worst product placement in recent memory (if I owned an iPhone, I'd trash after watching this movie on principle alone). A perfect example of what happens when you combine a terrible script with even worse acting.

Incredible Hulk
I'm still undecided on which I found more incredible - that they chose Edward Norton to play Bruce Banner, or that this do-over managed to make almost every mistake the original Incredible Hulk movie made, while adding some of its own. And to make matters worse, the very surprise ending made it so I'm assured to watch the sequel.

Strangers
Perhaps I'm jaded on this one because it seemed the entire packed theater seemed hellbent on chit-chatting and laughing throughout the entire movie, making sure to kill any chance at obtaining suspension of disbelief. The worst was when a women shouted "I have to pee!" But despite the atmosphere, this one just seemed to fall short of expectations.

Kung Fu Panda
The only movie in this roundup I can't complain about. I rest my case.

[Jokerswild]

Sorry to hear Indy was bad but I kind of figured that it would be.

I never liked the Hulk movie or T.V.

Kung Fu Panda FTW then.

[drew and not u]

It's getting worse each year!!! Never again shall we see amazing big budget movies methinks =*(

[Jokerswild]

Originally Posted by drew and not u

It's getting worse each year!!! Never again shall we see amazing big budget movies methinks =*(

Yea there'll never be another Creature From the Black Lagoon.

[Capper]

Theres no story, imagination, or good acting anymore......its rare to find a movie that really gets you excited, or that doesn't rely on CGI, or that isn't a remake or a sequel.

To be fair, all of those movies Paul mentioned had bad buzz to begin with....I was hoping Hancock was going to be different, but the early buzz on it is pretty poor as well.

[RA1D]

i want to check out kung fu panda!

[Elysium]

The only movie I really liked this year was No Country For Old Men.

[oldman_gamer]

Buncha "broke back" movies for sure.

[polobunny]

Originally Posted by RAID

i want to check out kung fu panda!

You might be kidding, but everyone I know had a good heartily laugh over it. A superb movie for the young and the old alike.

[NoctisReitop]

I have my hopes up for Batman : Dark Knight. Comes up July the umpteenth. I was thoroughly pleased with the old one, but I'm an old Batman fan who'd been displeased with all of the trash Batman releases. Anyone hold any opinions on Dark Knight, thus far?