Some good laughs!

[WhiteEagle]

Here are some laughs provided by Coffee News (a local weekly mini-paper):

Reading while suntanning makes you well red.
People who play the stock market are often led astray by false profits.
Experience is what you get while you are looking for something else.
A yawn is nature's way of giving the person listening to a bore an opportunity to open his mouth.
What do you call a one-eyed dinosaur? Doyouthinkhesaurus?
A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord.
Never mess up an apology with an excuse.
These days you know you are getting old when half the stuff in your shopping cart says, "For fast relief."
A man's home is his castle, in a matter of speaking.
Why did the man throw his buttered toast? Because he wanted to watch the butterfly.
Why are mountain climbers curious? They always want to take another peak.