Presidential Speech

[Tech Geek Deluxe]

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
"My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.


Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. THEN EVERY YEAR THERE AFTER IT'll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine ? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China.

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon ne chance, mez amies.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.
A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2 its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra thousand tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, 'darn tootin.'

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America . Thank you and good night."

[polobunny]

It would be typical American idiocy.

[Capper]

Originally Posted by polobunny

It would be typical American idiocy.

Thats a great speech!!!!!

[polobunny]

Originally Posted by Capper

Thats a great speech!!!!!

Elitist sporting attitude tone floating all around the speech is what ticks me off. For the rest really, I don't quite mind. If only for the fact Canada would be in list 2, yet you guys are sucking up on our trees and water like Ethiopians on a MRE.

[Tech Geek Deluxe]

Yeah ... I like Canada and Canadians ... eh.

I don't like the garbage behind politics tho.

LOL ... ethiopians on an MRE ! Funny

[Capper]

Originally Posted by polobunny

Elitist sporting attitude tone floating all around the speech is what ticks me off. For the rest really, I don't quite mind. If only for the fact Canada would be in list 2, yet you guys are sucking up on our trees and water like Ethiopians on a MRE.

Really? We're elitist when we talk about taking care of ourselves? Seriously, its time for the US to take a step back and stop putting hundreds of millions into Africa and other third world scenarios and take care of our own people. Canada and Mexico can keep supporting that disaster NAFTA. Lean on France for support and protection, they've developed a fantastic reputation.


I'm really tired of all these people that want to criticize the US, but who at the same time can't take care of themselves.......wanna cut down on the starvation? Stop breeding....Wanna cut down on AIDS? Stop breeding......

I'll take my elitist attitude, and my countries money, and the rest of you can go to hell......I'm all for stopping the friggin free meals. I'd give it about six months and all your attitudes toward the US would change in a big hurry.......

[polobunny]

Originally Posted by Capper

Really? We're elitist when we talk about taking care of ourselves? Seriously, its time for the US to take a step back and stop putting hundreds of millions into Africa and other third world scenarios and take care of our own people. Canada and Mexico can keep supporting that disaster NAFTA. Lean on France for support and protection, they've developed a fantastic reputation.


I'm really tired of all these people that want to criticize the US, but who at the same time can't take care of themselves.......wanna cut down on the starvation? Stop breeding....Wanna cut down on AIDS? Stop breeding......

I'll take my elitist attitude, and my countries money, and the rest of you can go to hell......I'm all for stopping the friggin free meals. I'd give it about six months and all your attitudes toward the US would change in a big hurry.......

Reality is, like I said, for most of the speech I don't mind. It's just the elitist attitude that I care and the fact Canada is in list 2 as I said. It's ok not support other countries if you don't want to, can't blame anyone for wanting to do what's best for them. It's something else to punch someone face with condescending speeches.

I'm actually the first to say the same thing about my country which is suffering some quite bothering problems in education and health sectors from money spent to "help people". Not even talking about problems caused by some parts of Canada itself.

I'm not criticizing the US on anything they aren't doing. To those sporting an elitist attitude, they can shove it down their throat. To those just wanting to do what's good for them, go ahead. ;)

Besides, little chances someone sporting an elitist attitude would not go to hell. :P

[Capper]

That "Elitist Atittude" thing really pisses me off.

An elitist attitude would be something like Russia, who has some sort of superiority complex going on, yet does nothing but try to undermine world security at every opportunity........not the US supporting everyone in the world financially and just saying enough is enough.

Tell me who contributes more money and supplies anywhere around the world at any given time? Tell me who pays 1/4 of the UNs entire operating costs? Step up Canada, France, Britian, Germany, etc....step up and quit sniveling, and at the same time stop criticizing the one country and group of people that is always there, time after time.

[One4yu2c]

Does Canadian bacon really come from Canada? The answer to this will have a great influence about my opinion in this thread.

[azianai]

Originally Posted by One4yu2c

Does Canadian bacon really come from Canada? The answer to this will have a great influence about my opinion in this thread.

course not. But you see how the US is always gonna be bashed, polo's a good example of how people'll always react no matter what the US does. If we only care about ourselves like China & Russia, all of a sudden we're elitists. But if we "meddle" with the world by offering aid and $$ and sometime military support for allies and what not, we're considered imperialists. Its a no win situation, they want the US to just collapse, that'll make France especially happy. Then they'll have Putin take over the world, great strategy!