Please bear with me

[Quakindude]

I don't normally put this out there, but a friend here has given me the desire to talk a little bit. I also want a couple of things about me known in case it should come up in the future.

Without going into much detail, when I returned from Iraq in 2004, I had to have brain surgery to repair a blood vessel that had been ruptured in an explosion. Luckily, it was a fairly small one. I also was diagnosed with PTSD and a joint and muscle illness of unknown origins nor explanations. I personally think it's due to the Anthrax shots I've received over the years, but the government has made a defacto declaration that vets have experienced no lingering effects from those vaccinations. While I have my doubts, I chalk it all up to the cost of doing business and I deal with it.

So why the heck have I told you this? Five reasons.

1. After the surgery, I had to relearn how to write the English language. I could talk fine, albeit somewhat hesitant and disjointed at first. Yes, English is my primary language, but the written word was gone. I knew the basic sounds of certain letters, but had to relearn how to read and write. Imagine! A man that has a dear and important regard to the written word suddenly not understanding my own name in letters! Anyway, if my spelling is borked or my grammar is weird, that's why. If you see that I edit my posts a lot, it's because I refuse to use MS Word to check my posts. I need to check my own writings and correct them. And do so quite often. Punctuation marks are my difficulty now-a-days. But I'm back on college level.

2. My math is horrible now. I didn't even know my multiplication tables after the surgery. Try as I might, I've yet to move beyond 7th-8th grade math. I'm working on it though. But I screw up common numbers very often.

3. Memory, memory, memory. Some days I've the clarity of mind as if the Hubble were in there. Others, as if mud were floating in my brain.

4. Either the PTSD or the surgery causes me to have days where I can be a real ass. I will apologize if I act like an idiot. I deal with a lot of daily pain. Some days, I am totally pain free. However, those days in a month can be counted on one hand. The large majority of the time, I'm in pain ranging from nagging to severe. I deal with it.

5. I don't want, need or care for sympathy, "special treatment" or anything of the sort. I'm just a normal man with normal problems. If I've been an ass, tell me so and I'll reconsider my post/view/attitude or whatever. I'm thick skinned and mature.

I feel comfortable with you folks, so I’ve revealed a bit about myself. Thanks for your time in reading this.

Tom

[Capper]

Hey brother, there are a few vets on this board, and disabled vets at that.....we understand what you are dealing with, and are always here if you need anything

[Blondie]

Hey, imagine if all of us pain sufferers were all cranky on the same day lol :jaw:

I don't know how you got through that, had to be hard, but I hope it gets easier every day.

btw, I think your spelling & punctuation is better than mine

[gvblake22]

Thanks for the heads up dude. Good luck with your nagging troubles, I cannot even imagine what it would be like to go through all of that.

[Jokerswild]

No problem. Just don't start checking my punctuation.

[yurimxpxman]

I could go into all the sympathy crap, but it doesn't sound like you want that, so I'll skip right to the chase ;)

I'm glad to hear you're getting back on top of things. Two years isn't long to learn that much.

Out of curiosity, if I may ask, does the stuff come to you like a distant dream sometimes or something? Or is it just completely gone without a trace?

[Blondie]

I think if anything it gives us understanding into how he ticks. I used to share too, not so much any more. It was nice having support and understanding when I had a lot on my plate. I hoped people would understand why so & so didn;t get done asap...

[yurimxpxman]

Originally Posted by Blondie

I think if anything it gives us understanding into how he ticks. I used to share too, not so much any more. It was nice having support and understanding when I had a lot on my plate. I hoped people would understand why so & so didn;t get done asap...

I know when I had my last surgery it was really nice having the private folding forum to talk about this kind of stuff in without all the jerks from the TBR. I've got another surgery on Nov. 10th. This one shouldn't be too bad, and I sure hope to heck it's not because I'm supposed to hang out with my friend Angela that night. So I'm just going to suck up the pain and pretend I'm ok so I can go :P

[screwballl]

I have my days when I can be a royal pain and the way I say something comes out totally borked so that it may cause offense...
If something is really bothering me, lately I choose not to post as it may come out totally wrong and rather then get my point across it simply pisses a group of people off.
Also my letters may be dyslexitized at times and this is due to large hands. I am 6'5 215 so normal keyboards either have too small of keys or they way I type ends up with 2 letters swapped.. typically ends up with words along the lines of "liek" or "nott o" (not to)...

[Hitman]

I just had to go to Iraq and come back to become an ass. My wife claims I lost the nice me over there.

Don't worry if your too much of an ass Capper will just delete your post and send you PMs to calm down. Thats what he does for me anyways.