Iowa

[Jokerswild]

Dear Diary: Iowa Winters:

Aug. 12 - Moved into our new home in Iowa . It is so beautiful

here. The hills and river valleys are so picturesque. I have a

beautiful old oak tree in my front yard. Can hardly wait to see

the change in the seasons. This is truly God's Country.



Oct. 14 - Iowa is such a gorgeous place to live, one of the

real special places on Earth. The leaves are turning a multitude

of different colors. I love all of the shades of reds, oranges and

yellows, they are so bright. I want to walk through all of the

beautiful hills and spot some white tail deer. They are so

graceful, certainly they must be the most peaceful creatures on

Earth. This must be paradise.



Nov. 11 - Deer season opens this week. I can't imagine why anyone

would want to shoot these elegant animals. They are the very

symbol of peace and tranquility here in Iowa . I hope it snows

soon. I love it here!



Dec. 2 - It snowed last night. I woke to the usual wonderful

sight: everything covered in a beautiful blanket of white. The oak

tree is magnificent. It looks like a postcard. We went out and

swept the snow from the steps and driveway. The air is so crisp,

clean and refreshing. We had a snowball fight. I won, and the

snowplow came down the street. He must have gotten too close to

the driveway because we had to go out and shovel the end of the

driveway again. What a beautiful place. Nature in harmony. I

love it here!



Dec. 12 - More snow last night. I love it! The plow did his cute

little trick again. What a rascal. A winter wonderland. I love

it here!



Dec. 19 - More snow - couldn't get out of the driveway to get to

work in time. I'm exhausted from all of the shoveling. And that

snowplow!



Dec. 21 - More of that white shit coming down. I've got blisters

on my hands and a kink in my back. I think that the snowplow

driver waits around the corner until I'm done shoveling the

driveway. Asshole.



Dec. 25 - White Christmas? More freakin' snow. If I ever get my

hands on the sonofabitch who drives that snowplow, I swear I'll

castrate him. And why don't they use more salt on these roads to

melt this crap??



Dec. 28 - It hasn't stopped snowing since Christmas. I have been

inside since then, except of course when that SOB 'Snowplow Harry'

comes by. Can't go anywhere, cars are buried up to the windows.

Weather man says to expect another 10 inches. Do you have any idea

how many shovelfuls 10 inches is??



Jan. 1 - Happy New Year? The way it's comi ng down it won't melt

until the 4th of July! The snowplow got stuck down the road and

the shit head actually had the balls to come and ask to borrow a

shovel! I told him I'd broken 6 already this season.



Jan. 4 - Finally got out of the house. We went to the store to get

some food and a damn deer ran out in front of my car and I hit

the bastard. It did $3,000 in damage to the car. Those beasts

ought to be killed. The hunters should have a longer season if you

ask me.



Jan. 27 - Warmed up a little and rained today. The rain turned the

snow into ice and the weight of it broke the main limb of the oak

tree in the front yard and it went through the roof. I should have

cut that old piece of shit into fireplace wood when I had the

chance.



Mar 23 - Took my car to the local garage. Would you believe the

whole underside of the car is rusted away from all of that damn

salt they dump on the road? Car looks like a bashed up, heap of

rusted cow shit.



May 10 - Sold the car, the house, and moved to Georgia . I can't

imagine why anyone in their freakin' mind would ever want to live

in the God forsaken State of Iowa!

[Parker]

AHAAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!?!?!?!!!!!!
That is super hilarious man!! : laugh:

Did you get that off the internet or was that actually your diary?

[Jokerswild]

The wife e-mailed it to me. Pretty much sums up Iowa. IOWA stands for Idiots On Wheels Ahead.

[Parker]

Originally Posted by Jokerswild

The wife e-mailed it to me. Pretty much sums up Iowa. IOWA stands for Idiots On Wheels Ahead.

Haha, thats funny...

[screwballl]

hehehe... although myself I prefer South Dakota and its snow over FL anyday

[azianai]

i deal with the same shit in NY, well no deer anyway, but stupid snow plow~!

[garetjax]

Originally Posted by Parker

Did you get that off the internet or was that actually your diary?

Nope, it's not a "real" diary. It's been circulating the Internet for awhile now. =)

[oldman_gamer]

Me like that Good one