How to (not) design a budget mobo!

[Stormcrow]

We all love those no name wonders that come OEM, or you can find for AMAZING SAVINGS in Newegg's bottom bin. But just how do they come up with such WONDERFUL boards at such rock bottom prices? Well, I snooped around some, and here today I represent to you the top secret in depth guide on how these boards are made and how the savings are passed on to you! Only on HL Baby!

Step 1: RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT
This takes quite a bit of time to get right, and involves countless manhours of fruitless labor and perfecting the process. However, our 3rd rate companies have found a solution to both quick and economical R&D which saves time, and therefore cost!

a) look to see what ASUS is doing

B)



c) Mix

Step 2: DESIGN AND MAPPING
Another cost intensive and pricey process which involves designing out and getting the initial blueprint for the board to be made. Instead of going the usual route, our no name company has come up with an even better solution which is even more efficient!

A. OPEN MSPAINT

2. MOVE CURSOR AROUND

C. PRINT!

The preproduction outline vaguely resembles something like this:

1. ALWAYS ALWAYS add a serial port!
2. Keep CPU power as far away from 24 pin as possible!
3. Transistors should be lopsided and falling over, funnier that way!
4. Only give one IDE port, then leave obvious space where the second should have been. MUCH FUN!
5. Put SATA connectors right where big video card connects!
6. Make battery impossible to remove, and make CMOS jumper super tiny!
7. Put Floppy slot way down here for maximum lawls!
9. Second big video card should ALWAYS cover one of two PCI slots!
8. Add a 1x useless slot for no reason!
10. Put chipset fan UNDER video card, better heat transfer!
11. Make bracket clips SUPER SUPER tiny, better for heatsink!
12. First PCI-E should cover useless 1x slot, making even more useless!
Moo
13. Place memory REALLY REALLY close to heatsink!

Step 3. PRODUCTION
This is the fun part. Our no name companies are very family oriented, so they have their employees bring the kids in to help out! Fingerpaints are set out, and the kids get to paint the motherboards during the final production step! How cute! The final product looks something like this:


Goopey Orange was very popular that day!

Step 4: PACKAGING AND SHIPMENT
In order to better conform with the hardware specs, our wonderful vendors decide to ship their motherboards with the original BIOS and drivers to better insure standards are kept. Also, our companies just love puzzles, so they also leave out any kind of documentation. Good luck with the front panel connectors, they're a doozy!

Step 5: SUPPORT AND RMA

In the event these fabulous boards are somehow defective and need to be replaced, our awesome board manufacturers have their very own RMA department to handle any questions and requests. However, due to the nature of the company's firm stance on the quality of it's products, the RMA department is perpetually laid off and any errors will be cited as user created, which they undoubtedly have been! Darn overclockers and your mischievous ways, tsk.

So there you have it folks, the secret creation process of a budget 30 dollar motherboard. And you'll only hear it here on HL! Now don't tell, or PC CHIPS will attack me with it's automated customer compliant center!

[qazwsx]

hey it sounds like my asrock. the only IDE connector is almost right under the pci-eX16, making a very horrable experence pluging it in

[gvblake22]

HAHA, I sometimes seriously wonder if the companies purposely design some of these motherboards so poorly just to give you incentive to buy the higher-priced, more well designed model. I know Asus must do this, their basic boards of a certain chipset line ALWAYS have some obvious design flaws that are remedied in their more expensive ($200+) models. Pretty lame if you ask me....

[Carl Martin]

I really am mad. How dare you post a picture of my motherboard without my permission!

Carl

BTW, a long pair of tweezers and a powerful magnifying glass do wonders for jumping the CMOS.

[Death_blooms]

But seriously a good solid motherboard is worth investing in as it has upgrade potential (even if you are not going to use those features strait away its worth it) not to mention the smooth building ;)



God I hate these boards never again...

[Yellowhello]

LOL, thanks for the inside info!

[TheDude]

I'm personally a fan of the this design method.

1.) Start with a plain sheet of white paper
2.) Fill your hand with about 8 different colors of paint
3.) Throw it at the paper
4.) Randomly choose connector types based on color
5.) Build away!!

[robodude666]

I know this is a 3 day old thread, but I find something very wrong in step #3. There is no PCIe-1x slot or 16x slot. Theres an AGP!

[Stormcrow]

Originally Posted by robodude666

I know this is a 3 day old thread, but I find something very wrong in step #3. There is no PCIe-1x slot or 16x slot. Theres an AGP!

Oh! You've stumped across the Budget's Value Line model! What a lucky fellow, the Budget Value Line is actually a step up from the last in the series, the OEM Special which only features 3 PCI slots and a big soldered-in hole where the AGP SHOULD be!