Bathroom humor

[Jokerswild]

Here I sit in silent bliss
listening to the dripping piss
and now and then a fart is heard
to warn me of a coming turd

Here I sit all broken hearted
paid a nickel to **** and only farted

Here I sit in this deadly vapor
last one here used all the paper

A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood-curdling scream is heard coming from the bathroom.
A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar.
The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate what the drunk is screaming about.
"What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring my customers!"
"I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my balls."
With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says, "You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!!!"

[Mithosphere]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

[simple_inhibition]

here i sit all broken hearted
tried to shlt but only farted
later on i took my chance
i tried to fart but shlt my pants

[Capper]

ah bar jokes.......

A man, travelling cross country wanders into a bar. Not one to waste time, he eyes a beautiful lass at the bar and offers to buy her a drink.

"Would you sleep with me for $1,000,000?" he asks.

Startled, she thinks for a moment, then answers slyly...."yes I would".

Next, the man asks "Would you sleep with me for $20?"

Angry, the woman replies...."NO!!! what do you think I am?"

The man replies "We've already established that, now we're just negotiating a price"