Anti-Shark Device Eaten by Irony-Loving Shark

[Dread]

Jaw's here, I'm using Dread's account to give my side of the story.
For millennia people have made up stories about us that are just plain not true. We only eat things that 'move', take our pictures, smell good or are bleeding (see the smell good comment previously) in the water.

If you want to share our space I recommend that you not be bleeding anywhere, don't move, splash, wiggle your toes (very tasty by the way)
or look at us, let alone take our pictures. You know we're very shy by nature.

We're actually very friendly creatures of the deep.